One day when I was receiving Reiki, I was thinking about my decision to take this course of Chemotherapy. Of course, a part of me was questioning my decision and asking, « Did I do the right thing? » Immediately, I understood that this was not the question at hand. This was simply avoid the deeper question. One of the lessons learned in the practice of Reiki is that there is no real right and wrong. We make our choices …….sometimes they are not decisions in the way of the mind or logic! What
is important is to look to our choices and the roads that close and open to us as a result of our choice. My father always said that I must be willing to go through the consequences of my choice. And so, in my moment of doubt, I ask ……………………………………………………………………………………………..Was this right!
Next question. What is the problem with Chemo? Is it that it « kills » healthy cells. Cancer, in some people’s minds, is a response of the body to an unhealthy state in the body. Does this mean that cancer is unhealthy or that it is misunderstood? Perhaps this is simply a matter of perspective. But the next question came to me. What is health? Felip in Canada is always asking me, « Why, as Reiki masters, are we not more healthy? » What is health? How do we become healthy? When do we know we are healthy?
This reminded me of the dissonant chords of events ………….a very physically healthy man in his late 50’s
dying in a few moments of massive heart failure. A woman who smokes and drinks whiskey every day, living in all of her splendor until the age of 95! A monk living quietly with cancer for years. What is our path as human beings? What does it have to do with disease and health?
In thinking about all these questions and the roads leading off to other places from them, I came to a thought. Perhaps this concentration on HEALTH is a fantasy of our new age thinking, of being able to live longer than we thought possible 100 hundred years ago, of thinking that we can control the possibilities of our lives. I have berated myself throughout the years about my diet, my dislike of walking, of not having enough discipline to do healthy things for me, and so on. Was this healthy thinking? I would say not. Did I fall out of health? Am I not healthy now?
Just after my surgery, I felt so healthy! And it seemed like a joke! How could I be healthy when I just had surgery for cancer?
Perhaps the concentration on Health is somehow a cover up for something else. In these days of contemplation and time to follow up on some of my byways of thought, I will come to another conclusion…perhaps. For now, I am letting go of my need to be healthy, in the new age magazine image, and just be me. As I am now.
Open for your comments!