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Be the Change

This last weekend I had the pleasure of living one of my after cancer dreams. This was to spend a weekend with masters from the local Arizona area at the Kenyon Ranch with the intention of being together in harmony. We came from different forms of practice and different backgrounds intending to meet as one. We did it!

There was a challenge to this. On Saturday morning, our local congresswoman, U.S. Rep. Gabrielle Giffords, was shot as well as several others around her. 5 people died. She is still in critical condition. The man who shot these people seems to be a mixed up man with a wish to have our government feel supportive and “talk straight” I can certainly understand and agree with his wish but not with his way of expressing his frustration, powerlessness, and helplessness.

We found out when we broke for lunch. We had agreed to meet for a session with one of the masters who lead Dances of Universal Peace. She choose dances for us that allowed us to feel our connection, to gather “all people” in our arms, and to express our longing to be there with our Reiki hands. This was a great way to integrate the news and to set a course of compassion for everyone involved. We ended the day feeling as connected as a group could be, holding this paradox that someone else on that day felt so separated from himself that he was able to kill.

Today when I heard the news, reminding me about the minute of silence for the people who have died and the ones who are wounded, I began to feel the sadness come over me. Finally I had to go to bed taking a hot water bottle with me to comfort my neck which had a funny crink in it! I gave myself Reiki, relaxed the muscles in my neck, and slept for a time. When I woke up, I felt better.

After lunch, I recorded a conversation with Susan Mitchell for the radio show. The subject was compassion. It was a good interview and I was able to sort through some of my response to this shock wave. Violence seems to start a wave that ripples out and I was rocked by it.

Imagine how it must be to be in this kind of violence day and night? I cannot. And because of this, I search myself for the understanding of what it must be like for the man who was at the epicenter of this violence. He is a part of me. I am a part of him. We are one.

I am at peace when I write this. But how can I live this? I want to push him out of me and declare that I have nothing of that in me. I only have disgust and disbelief. But I wonder, about the life I wish to lead? How can I include him the in the practice of the precepts? How can I include him in the One?

And this is my challenge. I hold this softly and gently. I pray for us all that our hearts remain open.

I remember the feeling of Saturday night’s circle and remember the One.

with trust in all that is happening,