The days are flying by like horses on a downhill run. The good news is that my energy is slowly coming back. Sometimes it is clear that there is a difference! The other night I wanted to go to the hot tub at the recreation center! That I had the energy to have the idea and the energy to actually go was marvelous. Sometimes now I have energy to do things. In the last months when night came, I was exhausted and had no energy to do anything.
My mind and memory is still a bit like a sieve. Sometimes I simply blank out things. It is a familiar situation now and I hope the holes are filling up slowly and steadily! So all in all, I think I have come back about 50% of what I was a year ago. Scary and hopeful at the same time!
The other day I played the Game of Transformation with two women friends and my focus was: I expand my Trust in Being. I feel this shift in me from doing to being. And it is subtle and radical all at the same time. For instance, one of the principles that I work on and see that Reiki supports me to be discerning ………………………is that I want to be aware of my motivation for action. Motivation is far more important than the doing. So in the Game on the emotional level, I received the card ….Set back by other people’s opinions. (I have been struggling with putting together a schedule for next year or the end of this year. Something is not right.) With this card I realize that I must be vigilant about motivation. If I decide because of other people’s opinions or desires, then I am Doing. If I listen to my own calling and act from this place, then I am Being.
The Reiki Foundation Board and I are having a similar conversation. It is all around me. And I am living in a puzzle. so many things have shifted and yet the pieces of the puzzle look the same. It is a mind bender!
So each day, as I move toward the Radiation therapy, I savour and trust that the process continues and presses into the unknown. I am not looking forward to this next step …………..and I see that there are gifts waiting for me there. Sigh. And it is my path, of this I am certain.
April 14 at 2:00 pm (same time as Los Angeles) I will start this treatment. Everyday during the week (5 days a week) for 6.5 weeks. So the end of the treatment will be at the end of May. I see that the effects will not be as physical but may create other disturbances. I am preparing for this. Another passage through the Valley.
The abundance of life energy supports me ………I am attaching photos of the flowers….the yellow bushes are in our back yard and are Tombstone Roses. The others are a small part of the cactus flowers that are madly blooming this year.
(Somehow cannot put the photos where I want so will use the next BLOG for photos)
Until the next Post
A Phyllis Being