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Update at 8 treatments

This last wednesday was my 8th treatment! Lost count some where. On Tuesday I went to see the surgeon. She was pleased about the healing of the surgery. I will see her again after the chemotherapy is finished. I will have a mammogram then to see if there is any thing there. I am confident that it will be clear! Good to have positive thinking here.

Then I went to see the nurse practitioner who works with the medical oncologist who is monitoring my treatment program. All my blood counts are good. They are a little down from the beginning but staying within the normal range. Glucose is good. I am carrying a little allergic reaction. They can tell from something that is produced by the body to take care of allergens and show up in the blood. A long explanation for a word I don’t remember! Anyway, I chalk this up to the small amount of dairy that I am eating. It keeps my mucus membranes in order!

My nausea is at a minimum. I take only the anti nausea on Wednesdays when they do the chemo treatment. So this seems good. My energy is limited and so I don’t have much time on the computer these days. I am eating pretty well and my digestive system is working.

My brain function is really not very together! I have been having an issue with my car and after three appointments with them, I realize that I am not tracking very well. Joyce is going to go on Monday and help me communicate. It is a bit scary. THEY say that it will come back after the chemo. I am counting on Reiki and their past experience to have this be so! I also have a lot of little instances of short term memory loss it is so weird to have a conversation with someone and a few minutes later say something that obviously ignores the previous conversation of a few minutes ago …………………………and then remember all of it the next morning when my mind is fresh. Very disappointing!

And I am finding out how much I have depended on my mind. This has been a great revelation. Right now I am playing the Transformation Game with Joyce and another couple. My intention is “I surrender to my Heart.” I know that I must take this chance to balance this heart/mind of mine. And I am realizing how scary it has been for me to really express what is in my heart. When I do, it is often under stress and pressure so it sounds like being angry or attacking. Sigh. I had three angels on the emotional level ………….Compassion, Joy, and Tenderness. The Tenderness angel was really potent for me. I realized that I could not really relate to Tenderness in my life ………………………..especially in my self care. I have the angel of Trust for my guardian angel in this game  ………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….Trust in my heart.

My heart wants to say that it is overwhelmed right now with the exercise it is getting! Receiving, Receiving, Receiving, and Giving, Giving, Giving. It is coming into balance. And I feel very soft and fragile right now.

In trust! Phyllis