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2009-10-26 Time in Almaty

Just to keep in a kind of order I wanted to talk about my trip to Almaty Kazakhstan. It is a beautiful city now very fast becoming “westernized.” Lots of hugs glass paneled buildings going up and the roads are up to anyone’s standards!

Amazing changes. The People are still very lovely with many of the tribal influences shown in the faces and manners of the people themselves. Such diversity with open hearts. I was welcomed with open arms and had three weeks of being cared for. I ate simply with brown rice and miso soup as my staples. I had at least one and sometimes three treatments a day which was important for my balance of time. It was difficult all the way through the weeks stay to really sleep all night. When I did, it was a cause for celebration! The events were rewarding with many questions about healing, history, and my process. Talking about this and having discussions about Reiki and healing was good for me. Allowed for more clarity and lots of different viewpoints. Paul Mitchell was there for all the events and was a strong support throughout.

It was good to “get away” from the doctor appointments, the immersion into the medical model of things, and to feel the Reiki community enfold me. Whew! Just what I needed for balance. A great thank you to the organizers of these events and the ones that I needed to cancel also. I appreciate the support and openness of opportunities that have come from this situation.

I am glad to have made this trip. I also understood the stress levels that are inherent in traveling, in a different way. I realized how much energy and how little time I really had for myself over these years, though I would not change them now! I realized the continued gift of insight that I have through my journey with cancer. I am grateful for it all. Thank you again and again for being with me on the journey and supporting me even if you have doubts about my choices. What compassion!

Signing off for now.

Phyllis at home in Arizona

2009-10-20 What is the song, singing in me now?

End of August 2009:

August 19 will be a date to remember in my life! My first surgery and effectively my first brush with illness. Afterwards, I felt pretty good…sore, swollen under my arm, and somehow, healthy! People were around me who were attending the events at the Pocket Sanctuary Ranch. I had lots of Reiki and this took me through the OGM Retreat.

Then I realized I needed to come home and be more alone. It was not easy and I had a feeling of leaving a safe place and entering another one.

The Surgeon had my permission to remove the first lymph nodes and found that there was cancer in the first one but not the others. I am to have tests to check whether the cancer has located in another place in my body. These will be done on September 9.

In the meantime, I am scheduling the followup treatment to the surgery. This has been difficult. So many belief systems, unconscious fears and “appearances” to consider. Now, I have decided to have the chemotherapy and radiation. This is not out of fear but out of a feeling that this is the way I need to go. Strangely, that this path will serve me.

This weekly treatment, which will start October 14, will be accompanied by daily hands on Reiki treatments, distant treatments, prayers, homeopathic support of internal organs, and other supplements. I am shifting to a macro biotic diet. There will be other possible supporting ideas and treatments along the way.

Fear does arise at times. When it does, I find myself carried by the trust within and by the comfort of feeling Reiki with me.

My inner process is so intense and complicated that it is not possible to express it. Only to say, I have discovered that my heart has been clouded by past experiences. I thought that spirit resided in my head! And now I know that my heart is the place of my Spirit, and therein, a place of peace.